Damn Naruto's Friends
by Flika
Summary: Many shorts in where Sasuke hates Naruto's friends because they always just ruin the moment. SasuNaruSasu.  M for safety
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first in a short series of shorts im calling Damn Naruto's Friends. They is light SasuNaru, but the others will have more.  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto****  
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Sasuke Uchiha will never forget his first day at Konoha High School. It was the day were he met the two dumbest idiots in the world, the only person smarter than him except for his brother, the day he had his first kiss, the day he made his first enemy, and the day he fell in love. And on this day, Sasuke witnessed first hand just how far real friends would go to help each other.

His first day at Konoha, he met Kiba Inuzuka, also known as "Idiot number one". Kiba was a trouble maker, big time. On this first day, he hadn't really taken the time to meat Kiba, but he already knew that Kiba was someone he would try to avoid. At all cost.

In Sasuke's first class of the day, home room to be exact, he had been placed in the desk behind Kiba. The brunette was beyond annoying. With the way he would yell across the room to his friend Choji, a pudgy guy that never stopped eating. Kiba also had a small dog hidden within his gym bag, it was pretty well train, didn't bark once all class, the only way Sasuke even knew was because he saw Kiba slip the small pup into the bag before he walked into the class. Sasuke already decided he wouldn't turn the boy in, but the dog fur was bothering his allergies.

Kiba had said hi to Sasuke, told him the name of his dog too, but Sasuke didn't say hello back. Kiba had deemed him a prick after that. Not that Sasuke cared, he didn't want to go to school here and he didn't want to make any friends. So Kiba became the trouble making idiot to stay away from, and Sasuke left for his next class.

This time, in math, he sat beside Choji, the fat kid who was friends with the idiot. Again Choji had said hello to Sasuke, chips fell onto the raven's desk as he did so. It grossed Sasuke out. So, again, instead of returning the greeting, he glared and deemed Choji as a gluttony to stay away from. Not that cared how much the boy weighed, but he did care about the crewed chip crumbs that now littered on his desk.

Choji though was soon replaced by a blond girl, with the oh so original hearts in her eyes. It happened all the time. She said her name was Ino, not that Sasuke cared. He gave her a "hn" before turning away and giving the girl the cold shoulder for the rest of class. Girls never seemed to understand that he would never be interested.

When math was over he found himself in history, where he was unable to focus. Why, you ask. Well it may of had something to do with the snoring behind him. In the desk behind his own, sat a dark haired boy, asleep in his chair. He learned the boy's name was Shikamaru Nara when attendance was called. Of course the boy answered in a loud snore, but it was enough for their teacher to check him off for the day.

What Sasuke would never be able to understand was how the Nara had gotten every answer right through on the pop quiz they had gotten that day. He was sure the boy never even opened his eyes. But the fat boy Choji, who was in this class as well, had called Shika a genies and was surprised his friend had turned down the offer to skip the next grade.

Sasuke had come to the conclusion, that Shikamaru was smart. Smart enough that he could befriend at least. But the boy's snoring was getting on his nerves so he decided to forget the idea of friendship, and place the Nara on the "Stay away list", like the others.

Next had come lunch, where he tried to sit alone. When he had found an empty table, girls had flocked to it and fought for the seats closes to him. The two winners were a blond that he met before and a girl with light pink hair who said she was called Sakura. Again, Sasuke didn't care. When the two girls grabbed his arms and started fighting for his love, he had left the table, completely forgetting about his half eaten tomato.

He ended up at a fountain outside. It had less students than inside the cafe, but the people who were around where the same ones he was trying to avoid.

On the fountain's wall sat Kiba, Choji, and Shikamaru, along with a boy in all green, a short blond, and a pissed off looking red head. It was a wonder that Choji could still be eating and the Shikamaru was somehow able to sleep with Kiba and the blond arguing so loudly.

"Hey," Screamed Kiba, gaining everyone's attention. "Look who it is." He pointed to Sasuke, "That's the prick I told y'all about."

Sasuke had glared at the boy, not appreciating the name. The Boy in all green had stepped in though, scolding the dog owner.

"Kiba, that's not nice at all." He had screamed. "It's his first day at our school, he could use some new friends. Hello new youth! My name is Rock Lee, and I welcome you to this here school and to our circle of friends-"

"Shut up Lee." The red head said while masking Lee behind the head. the pout on Lee's face caused the blond, who was playing with Akamaru, Kiba's dog, to giggle. The sound was annoying but brought music to Sasuke's ears. He ended up staring at the blond without noticing so, but the blond did after a minute, and apparently didn't appreciate it.

"What do you want bastard?" The blond snapped.

Sasuke just glared at him, turned back around, muttered "Morons" under his breathe, and left. Three more names to add to his list.

After lunch he had English and must to his dismay, the blond boy and two girls from before were with him. The two girls were in the back along with the blond boy, their teacher hadn't arrived yet, but no one even noticed. Sasuke could hear the conversation the three were having, he wasn't eaves dropping or anything like that, the three just spoke really loud compared to the rest of the call.

"He's just so dreamy." Sakura and Ino said in sync.

"He's not dreamy, he's a bastard." Was the blond boy's reply.

"Hey!" Sakura yelled as Ino punched the boy in the head.

"What right to have to call him that?" The other girl yelled.

"He called me a moron." Whined the blond. He was cradling his head where he could now fell a bump.

"You are a moron Naruto," The pink hair girl teased.

"The biggest on we know." The other girl added.

Both girls had laughed at the blond boy as he whined and pouted. Sasuke was right. The boy really was a moron.

"Don't you wish you could just kiss him?" Ino cooed as she eyed Sasuke from across the room.

"I know right," Sakura said while resting her chin in one hand. "But he's just to mysterious to approach."

To Sasuke, that was bullshit. At lunch the girls had no problem approaching him, no problem latching on to him either.

"That's bullshit!" Well Naruto agreed with him. "He's not that special. If you want to kiss the guy just go kiss the guy."

Sasuke hit his head on his desk. He really wanted to punch that moron. Now the girls would think that they could just walk up to him and kiss him like it was nothing at all. If these girl started getting ideas, at least Sasuke knew who to kill.

"We can't do that Naruto!"

"Hey, he'll think we're crazy!"

"Fine then," Naruto said, chair screeching as he pushed it back to stand up. The blond started walking to the front of the class and called from over his shoulder. "I'll show you it not that hard."

Before Sasuke could think or the girls could even yell, he saw Naruto in front of him, the blond's hand was on his chin. Naruto leaned in, eyes closed, and lips pouted until he closed the distance between them, trapping Sasuke in a kiss. Surprisingly, Sasuke didn't hate it, he didn't even fight back. He did the opposite actually.

Sasuke's arms wrapped their selves around Naruto's thin waist, pulling the boy closer to his body. Naruto's hands somehow had left his face and encircled around Sasuke's shoulders before he was pulled into Sasuke's lap. This was Sasuke's first kiss, and it was with a guy, he never thought it would be as heated as it was. Mouths were pried open, tongues had touched, His hands roamed against the other boy's hips, and a moan escaped from one of them.

"Naruto. New boy. Would you mind breaking apart?" A very cheery voice called out. Naruto was off Sasuke's lap in a second, his face was blushed a deep red, he refused to look at Sasuke as he walked back to his desk.

"Yes sir Kakashi." The blond called back at his desk. The two girls were wide eyed and their mouths were agape. Sasuke turned to see his teacher, who was half an hour late, Kakashi. The man was, in one word, strange. his hair was gray but he looked young, scratch that - he sounded young. The lower half of his face was covered by a brightly colored scarf and his left eye had an eye patch over it, leaving only his right eye for Sasuke to see.

"Hello, you must be Sasuke Uchiha," The teacher said with a smile (?) Sasuke just nodded, not knowing what to say. Kakashi leaned down until he was looking Sasuke right in the eye, his own eye was glinting mischievously. "Was the kiss good, Sasuke?" Again Sasuke was at a lost for words. Should he nod yes or shake his head no, he didn't know. Thankfully Naruto had thrown an eraser from the back of the room, successfully hitting Kakashi's cheek.

"S-shut up Kakashi, you damn p-pervert!" Naruto studdered, the blush on his cheeks even redder, if that was possible.

"Oh," Kakashi smile (?) again and walked calmly to his desk. Once he sat down the whole class knew he had to be grinning. "So it was good then!"

_Yes,_ Sasuke thought, ignoring Naruto's calls of 'pervert' and ' how dare you'. _It was **very** good. _

Class preceded as usual, or at least usual for this class.v Kakashi didn't teach a thing and read his porn books instead. Naruto went back to talking to the girls while Sasuke mussed over and over about his first mind blowing kiss.

"You little shit." Ino whispered harshly and smacked Naruto in the back of the head. "I thought you said you didn't like him.

"I said he was a bastard, I never said he wasn't hot." A grin was pasted on Naruto's face, Sakura smacked in off.

"I can't believe you," She hissed stomping on his foot. "That was the third guy you kissed this year that we've called hot."

"It's times like this I regret having a gay friend." Ino sighed with a pout on her face.

"Hey you two should be thanking me." Naruto protested. "I saved you both the trouble of fighting over him when he's obviously not interested in either of you-OW!"

"Shut up!" Both girls yelled, their fist still above the blond's head where they had hit him. Sasuke had turned around to see what the was yelling was about when he saw the pouting Naruto. for a second their eyes met before Naruto turned away with a pink blush once again on his face.

_Cute_ Sasuke thought and smirked before turning back to the book he was reading. _Maybe Naruto should be taken off my 'stay away list'. _

Class went on with no more outburst from the back. Kakashi had finished a chapter of his book and told the class to pull out the book they were reading and supplied Sasuke with an extra that he kept in class. He asked one kid to start reading.

"_That same evening, I remember, we all sat on the till late-"_

_"_Woof, woof!"

The student stopped reading, along with the rest of the class. Kakashi looked up from his book and curiously looked around the class.

"Did anyone else hear-"

"Woof, woof, woof."

"-That!"

Naruto looked up from his book to see Akamaru jumping high enough to reach the glass window in the wooden door. He knew that if Kakashi saw the dog, then Kiba would be in trouble. So to help his friend, he did the only thing he could think of. Jumping out from his desk and running to the door to grab the dog before Kakashi could see him. Though, what teach would be blind enough to see a student open the class room door right in front of them?

"Mr. Uzumaki, where do you plan on going?"

Naruto, who was kneeling down to grab the lost puppy, shot up quickly, stuffed the dog into his large sweat jacket, ans spun around. "No where sir."

"Woof!" Naruto's jacket agreed.

"Naruto," Kakashi said smiling (?), letting Naruto know he already knew what was going on. "Did your coat just bark?"

"No!" Naruto answered all to quickly.

"Then what may i ask is under your coat?"

"My stomach."Naruto said dumbfounded as he held his struggling coat closed at the top, an arm slung under the moving bulge, keeping it up.

"Really," Kakashi walked closer to his blond student, eye curved with amusement. "I don't quite remember you being so...big."

Naruto began to sweat, his eyes looked back and forth for some help before he shouted the first thing that came to mind. "I'm pregnant!" Some of the class members laughed. Along with Kakashi. "Don't judge me!"

"Now really Naruto. Pregnant! Does Iruka know you're being sexually active?" Kakashi laughed even more when he saw the blush on Naruto's face. "Who's the father?"

"Um...um, the father is...well me. Because I am a male Kakashi. I thought even you could tell that."

"Silly silly Naruto. I meant who knocked you up?" Again students laughed.

"Um...well, the one who 'knocked me up' was...um, what's his name-"

"Me!" Sasuke said, springing up from his seat. He didn't know why he said that, but he could tell that Naruto needed help; he too had saw the dog jumping by the window. The girls in the back giggled loudly.

"Yeah!" Naruto shouted "He's the dad, um...Choji what's his name again?" Sasuke looked to the other end of the class room. He didn't even know that Choji was in this class as well.

"Sasuke-"

"Sasuke! Yes It's Sasuke's." Naruto said with a large grin in place. "Yes, that was why we were kissing earlier too, because i told him we're having a baby."

"Woof, woof, woof." Naruto coat started to growl and move more then before. A licking sound came from Naruto's stomach before the blond yelpped in pain.

"Damn it he bit me- I mean," Naruto looked to Choji who was pointing at the door frantically, signaling for Naruto to run. "My water broke! Oh God the pain! Pain! Kakashi, may I be excussed to go to the nurse and give birth, please?"

With a slight chuckle, Kakashi wrote a hall pass and nodded to Naruto. "That's fine, I don't know anything about birthing babies." Naruto took the slip graciously and ran out the room.

"Sir," Choji called. "I think I should go with him, to help."

"Ah, good thinking Choji, but no." Kakashi said and started writing up another pass. "I think Sasuke should go, being the father and all."

Without a word Sasuke took the pass and ran out the door after Naruto. He caught the blond half way down the hall when he was letting the puppy out from underneath his clothes.

"Hey," Naruto turned around to see Sasuke running towards him.

"Hey," He smiled back. "Thanks for the help back there. Now Kiba won't call you a prick anymore when he hears to help save his baby." Naruto chuckled as he pointed to the small dog walking beside him. Sasuke just "Hn"ed and began walking next to the blond. When they reached the stairs leading to a hall of empty planing rooms, Sasuke spoke.

"You Know," He smirked knowing that he had Naruto's attention. "You looked pretty happy back there about having my baby."

"W-what?" Naruto was just too cute when he blushed. "You bastard, why would I be happy about that?"

"Hn. To bad then, because you know, if we knew each other better and if you did have the ability to give birth, I wouldn't mind getting you pregnant." His smirk only increased when Naruto blushed more and stuttered words he couldn't understand.

"Cute," Sasuke thought aloud. Naruto turn to glare at him.

"What you say?"

"I said you're cute, moron." Naruto narrowed his eyes further and stepped closer to Sasuke, trying to be intimidating. Just as Naruto was opening his mouth to reply, Sasuke swepped down and captured the blond's mouth as his own. Naruto kissed back almost instantly, arms wrapping around Sasuke again and trying to deepen the kiss. But just as Sasuke was about to let the blond, someone just so happened to pop up.

Kiba, Naruto's damn friend.

"Dudes! What the hell, Naruto. You're kissing the prick! Shika was right, damn now I owe him money!" Kiba shouted through the empty halls; he was now holding Akamaru who barked in agreement with his master.

"S-shut up Kiba!" The red face Naruto yelled.

Kiba had walked away laughing, leaving the two alone again and calling back behind his shoulder.

"Congratulations on the baby you two!"

And so that was Sasuke's first day at Konoha High School. By the end of the day he had Choji in every single one of his classes. The two girls, Sakura and Ino giggled every time they saw him. Kiba, who had heard what had happened in Kakashi's class had told the rest of the school. He had another class with Naruto and the red head named Gaara. Gaara tried to choke him. And he left with a date for Saturday night.

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**The reading from the book is one i just picked up randomly. it's called 'A bottomless Grave' by i dont know. **

**Again, this is just the first short in a little series of shorts called Damn Naruto's Friends. I know this one didn't have much to do with Sasuke damning Naruto's friend but the others will. **

**Thank you. Please review. And if you see a spelling mistake please tell me.  
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	2. Chapter 2

**Damn Naruto's Friends 2**

**Back again with another of the shorts Damn Naruto's Friends. Where Sasuke loves his lover Naruto but hates His lover's friends.**

**Dont own Naruto**

***IMPORANT*:: I still need people to vote for how Sasuke sees Naruto for the first time in my new fic, Cali Sunshine. polls are now closed so I can start working on it. I also need a BETA but i want one who will be just as serious about this fic as me so if you are interested and want some more information then please message me::**

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That first day at Kohona High School lead Sasuke to meet Naruto, who he believed he really did love. Their first date that Saturday was amazing save for the end when Naruto's damn friends had found them. It wouldn't have been so bad, if the hadn't walked in when Sasuke was giving Naruto a little too heated good night kiss, in Naruto's apartment, where the doors suppose to be locked.

But yes, that was when Choji had busted through the locked doors with Kiba, both yelling about needing Naruto'sbathroom and Shikamaru walking behind lazily, raising an eyebrow at the two and murmuring troublesome before walking into Naruto's kitchen. Naruto had screamed in fright so loud that the neighbors thought he was being robbed and ran over to help him. In only a _way_ too short bath robe.

Naruto was sure after that Sasuke wouldn't want to see him after that, but the raven had stayed.

He even took Naruto on another date that Sunday since Monday was a teacher holiday. That one had ended early when Sakura and Ino found them at the mall's food court and demanded that they get pictures of the two kissing. Yaoi fan girls. Who knew.

Again, Naruto had apologized for his friend and told Sasuke if he never wanted to see him again, he would understand. Sasuke called him a moron and let the girls have the damn pictures.

Sasuke had taken Naruto on a third date that next weekend to the movies. It was a horror movie that Naruto was so determine to see. Sasuke of coursed agreed thinking Naruto would get scared and cuddle into him. No luck there, since Naruto wasn't scared by movies though. One to many times spending the night at Gaara's will do that to a person.

But there was one person screaming through out the enter movie. Rock Lee. Yes, by some evil twisted fate, both Lee and Gaara were there watching the same movie, at the same time, in the theater. And Lee screams like a little tiny girl. When Gaara kicked Lee out of the seat and told him to sit as far away from him as possible, he ended up sitting right there next to Naruto. Of course Lee with his big mouth just had to yell to the other side the the theater to Gaara and tell him that both Naruto and Sasuke were there, together, on a date. And of course Gaara being to overly protective friend he is had to choke Sasukefor having his arm around Naruto.

In the end, Lee was kicked out for yelling, Gaara and Sasukewere kicked out for fighting, and Naruto followed with his down low muttering death threats under his breathe.

Naruto had confronted Sasuke the next day saying that they should stop seeing each other because he knew how his friends were annoying and figuring the whole overprotective Gaara thing would have turned Sasuke off. But Sasuke had just called Naruto an idiot for even thinking of breaking up and claimed they should make it official instead.

So, one year later, on the date they had met, Sasukewas still there. And Naruto's friend had just gotten worse with time.

Even though the two had been seeing each other for a year, they still had not shown their love in the biggest way; by making love. Sure they have tried before, but when the mood was right it was always ruined by one of Naruto's friends, who apparently wanted Naruto to stay a virgin forever. Sasuke was too of course. He would never have cheated on Naruto. But Naruto could as much masturbate without someone breaking down his door.

When they had been having dinner at Sasuke's house and his parents left to see a show a few months ago, the two did kiss a little more afterward. And they did forget about dinner just to retreat to Sasuke's room, where the door locked and a few article of clothing where thrown around. But right as the pants were about to go, Kiba had climbed through Sasuke's bedroom window, ending everything.

the story was that when he, Shika, and Choji went to Naruto's and couldn't find him, they decided to check Sasuke's house. Itachi had told them that the two where in Sasuke's room but that the door was locked and they should just go home. Kiba through had decided that if he couldn't come in through the door, he come in through the window.

And what was so important that they needed Naruto for? Well, Kiba and Choji were arguing about whether ramen had an expiration date on the package or not, so they figured they ask Naruto. And what was Naruto's Answer?

"Um, I don't know, never checked...Hey, wait! Shika, you have a key to my apartment; why couldn't you just go in my kitchen and check?"

Needless to say, Sasuke was about to kill Shikamaru the next day at school.

The next time was when they were at Naruto'sapartment and Naruto was in one of his 'bad boy' moods. He had mussed with Sasuke to let Naruto tie him up and ride him all night. Of course, who was Sasuke to say no? So after Sasuke a tied to the couch and a naked Naruto was straddling his lap, Sasuke thought this was finally it. Right as Naruto was about to lower himself on to Sasuke's hard member, Gaara walked in murmured about his siblings and called out that he was spending the night. When the red head saw the scene going on in the living room, the same protective glint was in his green eyes, and it was then that Sasuke wished he never had let Naruto tie him up because his brain was telling him to run.

So, when the same neighbor as before came running in to save the day in his robe again, it was easily one of the worse moments of Sasuke's life.

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"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled barging into Sasuke's house. He marched up the stairs past Itachi who gave the blond a strange look. Naruto though paid the older raven no mind and continued down the hall to Sasuke's room and ripped the door open. "I want sex and I want it now!"

Sasuke stared at the blond dumbfounded. He too had wanted to move along in their relationship but he never thought Naruto would just barge in and demand it.

Sasuke sighed and turned to see his boyfriend fuming at his bedroom door.

"It's not like I don't want the same thing, Naruto."

Naruto calmed slightly when he saw the serious look on Sasuke features.

"I know, I know." The blond muttered and sat on the bed next to Sasuke. "It's just...when ever we try, someone-"

"Your friends."

"Yes, my friends. My friends always find us and stop it." Naruto said with a bit of a pout. "So, I was thinking that we go somewhere where my friends can't find us."

"Like?"

"Like...the motel in the next town over?" Naruto asked seductively, moving closer to Sasuke at the same time.

"You want to have our first time...in a motel?"

"Sasuke, I just want us to finally have a first time." The blond whined, a small but persuasive pout on his lips. Sasuke broke at the sight of Naruto pouting and kissed the ready lips before agreeing.

The next night found the two lovers at an old motel a town over. It was definitely not a place where Sasuke had imagined their first time but, like Naruto had said the night before, if they didn't go somewhere where Naruto's friends didn't checked, it would never happen.

So as Sasuke parked the car outside and got a room from an older lady inside, Naruto gathered a small over night bag that held Sasuke's and his clothes and a few _toys _that Naruto had taken a liking to. For a virgin, Naruto had a kinky side.

He met up with Sasuke in the lobby of the dinky hotel where he was led by Sasuke straight to their room, obviously wanting to escape the older woman dropping hints at him.

The motel had five rooms total, and the only way in was to go outside to the back of the motel where there was a door to enter the rooms. Their room was a descent size, but that was really all you could give it. The floral wallpaper was peeling and at some places was turning drown. The ceiling panels were originally white but years of being unkempt had changed them to a grayish color along with a few dirty brown patches from water leaks. The carpet was a mixture between brown and orange and was ripping out of the ground near the corners of the room. The only furniture in the room consisted of a metal headboard bed, side tables, and a dresser with a small TV on top.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Naruto looked up at Sasuke who was still at the door. The raven looked apprehensive for a moment before following the blond to the bed. Naruto smiled sweetly at the other boy before taking Sasuke's hand in his own.

"Are you nervous?" Naruto asked concerned. Sasuke sighed at the look on Naruto's face. The blond looked a guilty almost with a hint of worry.

"No, it just…" Sasuke sighed again, bringing the tan hand holding his to his lips, placing the smallest of a kiss on the tan skin. "You don't care that we're doing it in a motel?"

"I don't care where if it's with you."

Sasuke nodded, feeling the same before leaning down to kiss Naruto properly. Naruto had kissed back with just as much force.

Clothes were shed and bodies were touched by wondering hands. Hot touches were traded as hungry lips attached as much as possible. And somewhere down the line, Naruto's kinks came into play and the blond was hand cuffed to the headboard of the bed.

"Ahh-" Naruto cringed a little as a moist finger was probed inside of him. It didn't hurt, but it always felt weird because of Sasuke's rough hands. The raven didn't wait very long before adding a second finger and thrusting them into Naruto. He stretched Naruto enough to add a third finger before poking around for Naruto's sweet spot. After several moments of searching a gasped left Naruto's lips and Sasuke knew he had found it.

Pulling out he positioned himself between Naruto's legs. He looked down at his soon to be lover and leaned forward to kiss the others lips.

"Are you sure?" Sasuke asked again as he pulled back slightly to look Naruto in the eye.

"Yes Sasuke, for the last time I'm sure." Naruto huffed back annoyed. Sasuke couldn't help but smirk knowing how easily he could rile Naruto up, even in a situation like this.

He went to kiss Naruto again when a blur of brown knocked him to the floor. He hissed as a hard body held him to the ground and a fist collided with his head.

"Quick, untie Naruto before this rapist can catch him!"

Sasuke knew that voice. Oh yes he knew that voice very well.

"Kiba. Get. The. Hell. OFF. ME." Sasuke seethed. The dog boy looked down stun before finally racing to his feet and laughing nervously. Sasuke stood up, his back crack as he did so. He saw Kiba trying to hide behind Choji who, up until now, was trying to break Naruto's handcuffs. The lights flipped on giving Sasuke a better view as Shikamaru leaned by the door shaking his head. Naruto was blushing madly while trying to hide himself. A hard task to do when bond to a bed.

"I told you not to over react." Shikamaru said broadly as he walked further into the room. He grabbed a discarded shirt and threw it on the naked Naruto who looked like he appreciated the action more than anything.

"Well what was I suppose to think when I see Naruto handcuffed to a bed with a shadowy figure leaning over him? Rape, that's what." Kiba yelled back.

"Hold on," Naruto squeaked out. "How did you know I was even here?"

"We didn't," Choji said eating a chocolate bar that Sasuke was sure wasn't there a minute ago. "We were pranking Shino. He's in the room next door, drunk as hell waiting for a hooker. Only the hooker was going to be Kiba in a wig."

"I was about to get changed outside when I heard Naruto." Kiba added.

"And I told them not to over react and they break the door down." Shikamaru sighed while chewing on plastic straw. "Troublesome."

Naruto gawked at the three and for a second Sasuke thought the blond was as mad as he was. "You assholes," and from how loud Naruto was yelling he was mad. "How could you prank Shino without telling me?" Yes, he was mad but for totally different reasons.

"We couldn't find you, duh." Kiba said crossing his arms and sitting on the dresser. Shika and Choji following his example and making their selves comfortable. They started up a conversation with Naruto who for the time being had completely forgotten about his nakedness. When Sasuke noticed that they weren't going to leave anytime soon he punched the wall next to him – a startled scream that sounded very much like Shino was heard – and glared at the three unwanted guess.

"Me and Naruto did have plans you know." He stated coldly as a dark evil aura appeared around him. They seemed to have gotten the idea and left in a hurry. Sighing he sat back on the bed with Naruto and stared into the blonde's eyes. And started and stared and stared until finally…

"I can't get hard." Naruto admitted and looked away embarrassed. Sasuke sighed and looked down at his own deflated member.

"Either can I." Sasuke said dumbfounded. "But we _will _do this, even if it means fucking you with my limp dick!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Do something sexy."

"…Like what?..."

"I don't know. Something,"

"Sasuke…you do realize I'm tied up right. What can I do?"

Sasuke sighed and rested his head in defeat against Naruto's shoulder.

"Should we just sleep and try again in the morning?"

"Yeah," Sasuke said as he undid the hand cuffs. "We'll try again in the morning.

* * *

The next morning Sasuke and Naruto were awaken by Gaara kicking their motel room door in with, enraged, with a baseball bat, and nearly foaming at the mouth. Kiba, Choji, and Shikamaru had told him what was taking place the night before.

Sasuke ended up with a broken arm, leg, and a concusion.


	3. Chapter 3

**Damn Naruto's Friends 3**

**Disclaimer: Dont own Naruto**

**I should metion this but this story has several time skips. Chapter 1 and 2 take place in high school, a year apart. Chapter 3 (this chapter) is around first year in college. Chapter 4 is around half way through college. Chapter five will be less then a year out of college. **

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Sasuke had, what he believed, was the perfect life.

Well no, he didn't have the perfect life, far from it really; but he did have the perfect love life. He had the world's greatest lover. Naruto, his boyfriend of three year, was beautiful, funny, bright, and lively. Everything you would want in a partner, except for brains. And Naruto was drop dead sexy with a kinky side.

But, Naruto was also the perfect friend. A friend who would drop everything if a friend needed help. It was a trait that was both a blessing and a curse.

A blessing because no one else would willingly bail Choji out of jail for attacking the drive through worker who called him fat. A blessing because who else would willingly drive a drunk Kiba to his mother's when he burned his apartment down. A blessing because he would take three buses to visit Gaara in his home town after his brother had a hearth attack.

A curse because Naruto would drop everything to do these things. Including Sasuke time. And no one should interrupt Sasuke time. _No one!_

But still, everybody does interrupt Sasuke time; because everybody is so fucking evil and always needed Naruto's help every time Sasuke was about to ravish the boy.

So when Sasuke finally got Naruto alone, at his apartment, after a long day of work; he was going to ravish his little fox and have his name be screamed loud enough for all of Naruto's damn friends to hear miles away, if it was the last thing he did.

"Ah, Sasuke" Naruto breathed as his lover sucked and nipped at his exposed neck. Sasuke smirked, running his tongue over a soft patch of skin that he knew made Naruto ticklish. The blond let out a soft giggle that made Sasuke smirk widen even more. he loved having full control over his lover's body, and knowing where to touch.

"What is it you want, Na-ru-to?" Sasuke asked while his hands found Naruto's hips.

"Y-you Sasuke. I want you. Please." Naruto said breathlessly. Sasuke smirked down at his lover, he always enjoyed having Naruto beg for him. It made him hard.

"As you wish." The raven murmured as he removed Naruto's jeans. He could see Naruto's hardness through the cloth of his boxers, just waiting for Sasuke to touch it.

So that just what Sasuke did. Palming the clothed organ, he listened to Naruto moan and whimper. He leaned down to kiss Naruto's slightly open lips, engulfing all of the blond's sounds within his own mouth.

"I love you." Sasuke said as he pulled back from the kiss. Naruto replied back with his own broken version of the words. Sasuke then removed the boxers blocking Naruto and placed one soft kiss on the hard member. He looked up at Naruto when he heard the blond cry with lust. Sasuke smirked and place three fingers in front of Naruto. "Suck." He demanded.

Naruto took the appendages into his mouth and sucked until Sasuke deemed them properly lubricated.

Right as he was setting the fingers at Naruto's opening the blond's cell phone rang.

"Just ignore it." Naruto said softly. So after the fourth ring of so, Sasuke was about to proceed with his penetration when the home phone began to ring.

Sasuke stopped yet again to stare at the phone on the desk in his room.

"Ignore it!" Naruto growled. Sasuke looked away from the phone and to his lover. He murmured a sorry and kissed the impatient Naruto on his temple.

With the tip of one finger in the phone finally stopped ringing and the machine picked up.

"_Hello! Naruto, it's me! I know you're there. Look, we got a problem, like real real big problem. Life or death problem!-"_

_"_Sasuke, get out of me." Naruto sighed and waited for Sasuke to remove his finger before going to answer the phone quickly.

"Hello?" Naruto asked the evil person on the other end of the phone. Who ever it was, Sasuke was going to get them. He was going to get them good. How dare these people-

"What!"

Sasuke had stopped in inner killing rant when Naruto yelled. He could hear fear and concern in his lover's voice. It made him feel kind of guilty for originally wanting to harm the person who was obviously in some kind of trouble.

"But- okay then how did it get into the apartment?"

The person on the other line yelled loud enough that Sasuke could hear a muffle version of Kiba's voice. Well, since Kiba was staying with Naruto and Gaara - something that Sasuke was _not _very happy about_ -_ until he found a new place, it made since that he would call Naruto if something was happening to it.

"How could you not know? wait- whats that noise?"

Sasuke carefully walked behind his distress lover, draping his arms over Naruto's shoulders and lightly kissing the back of Naruto's neck, if only to calm him down.

"Gaara's been what!"

Oh, somethings happened to Gaara. Something bad it seemed from the panic Naruto showed. Not that Sasuke really felt bad, he wouldn't have cared at all if Gaara was in some sort of life threatening situation. Of course he would never let Naruto know that.

"Was it poisonous? Is he breathing? Have you called 911?" Naruto screeched all in one breathe. The poor boy looked ready to have a heart attack or start hyperventilating. Sasuke began to rub the others back in hopes of comforting Naruto or having the blond tell him what was happening.

"Then why haven't you tried to get it off of him?" The blond snapped, suddenly angry at Kiba. Oh, poor Kiba. It was never good to have an angry Naruto after you. Sasuke learned that a while back.

"I don't care if you're afraid it will eat your dog, just hurry up and pry the damn thing off and call 911!"

Again muffle voices came through the phone and Sasuke was almost certain he heard Kiba ask "Why".

"Well, he'll die! that's why." Naruto said, slightly dumbfounded.

Sasuke was now seriously confused. Naruto seemed to had forgotten about him, even with his lousy attempts of comforting. He wish he knew what was going on, what Kiba had done to Naruto's apartment, what was killing Gaara, and, even if he didn't really want to, find out how he could help. But Naruto hadn't seemed t notice Sasuke who was waiting for explanations.

"Kiba, for the last time you have no reason, whatsoever, to be scared of Gaara."

Haha, that's funny. Not to be scared of Gaara. Even Sasuke would admit that Gaara was scary. And he was an Uchiha. So if an Uchiha found Gaara intimidating, Kiba must have been shaking in his shoes at one death glare.

"No buts!"

Then again, Naruto could be even scarier at times.

"Fine, don't touch it. call 911, tell them whats happened, and lock you and your dog in the bathroom. I'm on my way home."

Naruto snapped his cell phone closed and sighed. Finally he turned to Sasuke, a disappointing look marred his features. With another long sigh, he began looking for his clothes and started to get dressed. Sasuke just watched for a moment and was about to ask what was happening when Naruto spoke.

"Gaara order a new snake on line." Another reason to be afraid of Gaara. He had a fetish for deadly desert reptiles. "It arrived today and got loss some how. Kiba heard noises coming from Gaara's room and went to check on him. He found the snake biting Gaara and then it some how wrapped itself around Gaara's neck and Kiba is to scared touch it. So I got to hurry home before they all die." He Kissed Sasuke on the cheek, and murmured a quick "Bye" before running out the door and leaving Sasuke alone. On his bed. Where he was supposed to be making sweet love to Naruto.

...

"Damn."

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**I hope you all enjoyed and please review. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Sorry, it took a lot longer to post this then I wanted. I never had written a lemon scene before so it's probably not so good. This is the last chapter, so I tried to spice it up a little. It was actually meant to be 5 chapters not 4 but the chapter that was before this one wasn't working out so that set me back some, along with starting "Cali SunShine" that will be updated Sunday, the 28th. **

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"…Yes?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"…Really?"

"Yes really!"

Sasuke looked up at his boyfriend. He couldn't believe that Naruto had said yes. Yes!

Before another coherent thought could pass Sasuke's mind, the small box that he had in his hands was snatched away by Naruto.

Yes, you guessed correctly. Sasuke had just proposed to Naruto, and in that box was a small silver band with the Uchiha crest engraved in it. He hadn't gotten down on one knee, or make a speech about how much he loved Naruto. He didn't have to since Naruto already knew that Sasuke loved him more then life it self. So all Sasuke did was sit next to Naruto on the couch, turned to look at Naruto, took the box out of his pocket, and simply asked Naruto to marry him. He didn't expect Naruto to say yes though.

Naruto was slipping the ring on to his finger, not yelling about how it would make him a look like girl like Sasuke had expected. He looked happy, with that stupid grin on his face and his eyes lit up. He really did look _truly_ happy.

"To be honest," Sasuke murmured and chuckled a bit when Naruto turned to face him. "I thought you would say no."

"What!" Naruto yelled; he had a glare on his face, it was obvious that his good mood was gone. "What the hell does that mean? Why the hell would you propose unless you wanted me to say yes? Do you _not_ want to marry me or something?"

"Shut up Naruto." Sasuke said with a sigh. He rubbed his temples at the glare Naruto was sending him. He really had to think before he spoke some time. "Of course I want to marry you."

"Then why-"

"But I thought you would yell at me about 'not being a girl' and that you wouldn't need a ring to know we are together."

"Ha! Well Teme, usually I would get mad, but with this ring, it means you can never get so annoyed with me that you'd try to get rid of me. Besides," Naruto leaned over the couch and placed the smallest of a kiss on Sasuke's lips. "Who said I don't want people to know we're together?"

Sasuke smirk slightly into the pouty lips the never fully retreated from his. He couldn't help it; he let his lips reattach to the others and kissed. Naruto kissed back.

Before Sasuke even knew it, his shirt was off and he was unbuttoning Naruto's. Naruto was forced to lie flat on the couch but brought Sasuke with him with his hands in Sasuke's hair. The kisses were getting shorter and faster and breathing was becoming a nuisance.

They both had an idea of where this was going to lead and didn't care. Neither did they care that this wasn't their bed; the couch would do just fine.

Sasuke had helped Naruto out of his jeans and simply unbuckled his.

The raven stared at the beautiful almost naked body of Naruto below him. Cotton boxers hiding the little innocent he had left. They were quickly removed.

Soft, feathery kisses caressed Naruto's chest and abdomen. Sasuke just wasn't able to get enough of the man. He tasted sweet with desire and love. But, he paced himself, and proceeded with the task at hand.

Sasuke spent time preparing Naruto fully, loving the little mules that Naruto would make as his slick fingers moved in and out. He wanted to make sure Naruto wouldn't be hurt. It wasn't their first time together, but some certain circumstances they haven't been able to have time like this together.

"Sas'ke!" Naruto cried when that little nerve inside of him was hit. Sasuke loved that sound and aimed for the same spot a few more times before pulling out. Naruto had let out a small whine when those fingers were removed.

"You ready Naruto?" Sasuke asked in a whisper. Naruto was panting for breath to much to give a spoken respond so nodded eagerly instead. Sasuke carefully positioned himself at Naruto's entrance and worked his way in slowly as to not hurt his lover. He stilled, gripping Naruto's hips and waiting for the signal to move.

"M-move,"

And he did. Sasuke slowly pulled out, leaving only the head within Naruto before pushing back in. he kept this up until he came to a fast but steady past, watching how Naruto would move under him while breathing heavily. Sasuke was breathing just as hard as he moved with in the beautiful body he was attached with. The living room was filled with loud pants and grunts but nothing more. Naruto wasn't known to be loud in sex, no matter what others wished to believe. From how many times his friends had ruined the moment; he had become quieter so the moment could last longer. Gaara used to break down his old bedroom door if he thought things were getting too hot.

Sasuke's body was on fire. His stomach tickled with pure bliss. The knot in his stomach let him know that he wouldn't be able to last much longer. It was the same way for Naruto.

"Ahh, Sau'ke!" Naruto cried while griping to his new fiancé tightly; warning Sasuke that he was close to his limit. Sasuke paced up, wanting to come in time with his lover. He gripped Naruto's neglected member and pumped, forcing Naruto to let out a silent scream as he was coaxed into orgasm. Naruto's night walls clenched around Sasuke, forcing him to climax.

They laid there tired and satisfied with their sexual highs. Sasuke panted into the junction of Naruto's neck and shoulder, smelling sweat and sex on bronze skin.

This was a perfect moment- The front door was thrown opened and banged loudly against the apartment wall.

"Hey Naruto! I found that extra house key y'all gave me…" Kiba stopped at the living room entrance. He froze, stared, and blinked before screaming, throwing the house key on the floor, and running away, not even bothering to close the front door.

…

"Dobe, I hate your damn friends."

"So do I."

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**The End**


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